Your Dog Isn't Being Stubborn

Have you ever thought, My dog knows what I want, they're just being stubborn?

 You're certainly not alone. It's an easy conclusion to reach when your dog responds beautifully at home but suddenly seems to forget everything when you're outside.  But what looks like stubbornness is often something else.

 Dogs don't usually refuse to respond because they are trying to challenge us, take control or prove a point. Their behaviour is influenced by what is happening around them, how they are feeling, what they have learned and what makes sense to them in that moment.

 Instead of asking, “Why won't my dog do what I asked?” we can ask, “What is making this difficult for my dog?”

 That small change in thinking can transform the way we train.

What Do We Mean When We Say “Stubborn”?

When we call a dog stubborn, we're describing their behaviour from our point of view.

We see a dog who doesn't respond to a cue and think:

“They know this. They're just choosing not to do it.”

But we can't actually know that from the behaviour alone.

A dog who doesn't respond may:

•  not fully understand the cue yet

•  be distracted by something more important in the environment

•  be worried or overwhelmed

•  be too excited to respond successfully

•  be tired or uncomfortable

•  have learned that the cue doesn't always lead to anything meaningful

•  find the environment much harder than the training situation

•  simply need more time and practice

The behaviour is information. It is telling us something about the dog's experience.

Your Dog May Know the Behaviour  But Not in Every Situation

Dogs don't automatically understand that a behaviour learned in one place applies everywhere.
A dog might sit beautifully in the kitchen but struggle to sit at the park. That doesn't necessarily mean they are being disobedient.

At home, there might be very little competing for their attention. At the park, there may be dogs, smells, people, movement, noises and an entirely different level of excitement.
The dog hasn't necessarily forgotten. The environment has changed.

Good training takes this into account. We gradually help dogs learn how to respond in different places and around different distractions, rather than expecting them to suddenly be able to do everything everywhere.

What Happens When We Call a Dog Stubborn?

Once we believe a dog is being stubborn, it is very easy to increase the pressure.

We might repeat the cue.
We might say it louder.
We might become frustrated.
We might try to physically make the dog do what we asked.

But none of these things answer the more important question:

Why is the dog struggling to respond?
If the dog is worried, increasing pressure can make the situation harder.
If the dog is distracted, we may need to change the environment.
If the dog doesn't understand, we need to teach.
If the dog is too excited, we may need to help them settle before asking for a response.

The answer isn't always to ask more firmly. Sometimes the answer is to teach more clearly.

What If Your Dog Really Does Choose Something Else?

This is an important distinction. Dogs make choices.
They may choose to sniff instead of coming when called. They may choose to look at another dog instead of looking at us. They may choose to investigate something interesting rather than immediately responding to a cue. That doesn't make them stubborn.
It gives us information about what is competing with our request.

Our job is to make responding to us worthwhile, practise in situations where the dog can succeed, and build a history of good experiences working together.
We don't need to win a battle.

We need to build a relationship in which our dogs want to participate.

Look at the Dog in Front of You

Good training isn't about asking the same thing over and over and expecting a different response.

It's about paying attention.

What is your dog looking at?
How are they moving?
Are they relaxed or tense?
Are they able to think?
Is the environment too difficult?
Is the behaviour well learned?
Is the reward meaningful to them right now?

These questions help us understand what our dog needs from us.

And when we understand that, we can change what we're doing.

 From “Stubborn” to “What Can I Change?”

This is where cooperative training changes everything.

Instead of: “My dog is being stubborn.” We can think: “Something is making this difficult.”
Instead of: “My dog knows better.” We can think: “Has my dog really learned this behaviour in this situation?”
Instead of: “Why won't my dog listen?” We can ask: “How can I make it easier for my dog to understand and succeed?”

These aren't just different words. They lead to different training decisions.

Your Dog Isn't Giving You a Hard Time

Sometimes our dogs are having a hard time. When we stop seeing difficult behaviour as defiance and start seeing it as communication, we become better observers, better teachers and better partners. Our dogs don't need us to control every choice they make.

They need us to help them understand what we're asking, give them good reasons to participate and listen when something isn't working.

At BFF Dog Training, we don't expect dogs to simply obey us. We teach dogs to respond to cues, make choices and work with us willingly.

Because the goal isn't to have a dog who does everything because they have to.

The goal is to build a dog who wants to work with you.